Al was born in a barn out in the mountains of BC somewhere in some shitty town noone really cares about. He walked on all fours for the first 9 years of his life. I'm fairly sure he was raised by wild cows. Somehow his handicapped brain managed to learn the english language. What a goofy boy.

Teen-age years

I met Al in grade 7 in junior high. I found him face down on his desk in a puddle of his own saliva. It was a terrible sight. I slapped him on the face with my text book and told him to wake the fuck up. All he did was make some noise that sounded like a cow taking a shit. I've come to know this as Al's signature laugh.
By the age of 15 he could finally walk upright, but still had a horribly disfigured spine. Again, what a goofy boy.
To this day Al swears he finished high school. I find it hard to believe someone with downs syndrome this severe could ever pass.


Today, Al can be spotted driving his greasy chevy truck around your local high school. More often than not blasting loud music wearing sunglasses, with a smoke hanging from his lips.

If this man and/or truck are spotted, you are strongly advised to exit the area immediately and avoid eye contact at all costs.